No Nuts

*Chock-full-o-Nuts coffee contains no nuts. None at all. Sounds crazy, I know, but it says so right on the label. Good news for coffee lovers with almond allegies. Drink up!

*Pharmaceutical companies are giving names to their products that don't match the spellings. I'm thinking of Farxiga [far-SEE-guh] and Humira [hume-AIR-uh]. What's wrong with these people? Are they on drugs?

According to what I learned in first grade reading class, Humira should rhyme with Elvira, not with Yogi Berra.

*QUESTION: What do you call a cremated movie star?

ANSWER: Burnt Reynolds.

*If you take off your jacket they say you are in shirtsleeves. How does that make sense? You are in an entire shirt.

*At Lakewood's Community Fitness Facility (naming rights available) they have lots of great weight machines and exercise bikes. You can do a full-body workout, including cardio, while seated. If they ever re-open, join. Don't just sit there.

*Recently had my annual physical. The doctor said I could look forward to forty more good years and one bad day.

*President Trump likes to make fun of his political opponents who are short in stature, recently picking on 5' 4” presidential contender Michael Bloomberg. Trump thinks he is better than other people because he is tall. What's the big deal? It's only leg bones, for God's sake!

*I'm like anyone else, I put my glasses on one eye at a time.

*Why is there such admiration for people who know all the state capitals? The only one that's important to know is the one for the state you are living in. And only if you are an elected politician who has to work there.

*Some politicians lie like a rug. With our president it's more like wall-to-wall carpeting.

*”Even a broken clock is right twice a day.” That used to be a cool and useful saying. But now that everything is digital, a broken clock is never right. It's a shame.

*Things will keep getting easier if you do the hardest things first.

Jeff Fritz enjoys exercise, politics, economics, writing jokes and songs, and reading non-fiction.

Jeff Fritz

Enjoy exercise, politics, economics, writing jokes and songs, reading non-fiction.

Read More on
Volume 18, Issue 22, Posted 1:51 PM, 11.16.2022