Police Blotter: No April Foolin'

On the night of March 31, 2016, the proverbial midnight knock on the door jolted me out of my nocturnal reverie. Since I wasn't expecting anyone, I didn't answer (See Elaine St. James' "Living the Simple Life"). 

The next day, one of our local gendarmarie left his card and asked me to call. He said Lakewood PD received an anonymous telephone complaint about noisy wind chimes at my house. I told him I suspected it was retaliation for reporting a neighbor's dog being off leash and investigating my derriere with its nose. 

While the caller hung up without leaving a name, as I am fond of Monty Python movies, I imagine the conversation ... "What kind of land is this, that people can hang wind chimes at will, that constructively interfere with the cacaphony of loud car radios, buses, ambulance sirens, jets flying overhead, and my own dog's barking?" 

Thankfully, I remain at large. One has to fairly wonder, though, if some of us took the Trump rally protestors' signs seriously: "Make America hate again."  

Bob Soltis is a Mad Scientist, curmudgeon at large, former Navy officer, and a retired government stooge. He is the coauthor of "A Lucky Life."

Bob Soltys

Mad scientist, curmudgeon at large, former Navy officer, retired government stooge, and the coauthor of A Lucky Life.

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Volume 12, Issue 8, Posted 4:37 PM, 04.12.2016