One of Gary's broken 1950's toys

The time? About 1956. The place? The family's combined music and play room. The lesson learned? Well, not about music, at least not this time.

The general facts of the case are fairly straightforward, although I'll take a bit of journalistic license with the particulars, as 51-year-old memories tend to fade somewhat.

Some friends were coming over to visit my parents, and they had children of their own. As a five-year-old "only child," I had a pretty attractive toybox. There was this Army plane that personnel and vehicles could go in and out of, along with a great fort where little plastic cowboys and Native Americans could do battle. Along with these treasures were perhaps twenty or more other toys, nestled in their proper places in that veritable treasure chest.

I had been well-trained to take good care of my toys, and I did so. Anticipating the arrival of our company, my mother had given me a good talking-to about sharing these toys with our guests when they came over to play.

When they arrived, all went well when we went outside to play ball. Even over milk and cookies, everything seemed to go just fine.

Then, the children saw my toybox. In an instant, they were transformed from smiling, polite youngsters into something akin to wide-eyed, screaming banshees. I learned later that these children had few toys, and therefore did not know how to handle them. At least, that was the story I was told later.

Before you could say "Fort Apache," mine was history. In no time, these unruly children ripped into my precious toybox. Before long, that toybox resembled London after the Nazi bombers got through with it. I can't even bear to write about my toy plastic Army plane, except to say that it really was not designed to fly.

For trying to be a good host, I was left with a pile of broken toys. Like children have said for years, I must have looked up at Mom and said those immortal words: "It's just not fair!"

As we all learn, sooner or later, life is not always fair. Things happen that we cannot begin to understand. Whether it's a young child getting cancer, or an airplane (whether real, or toy) dropping out of the sky, the fact remains that things happen from time to time that just do not seem to be fair.

As the years rolled by, I learned more about the fairness doctrine, or rather, the lack thereof. In school, you learn quickly about in-crowds and outcasts. In athletics, one also learns all too quickly who's picked first, and last, for a ball team. Stand-up spelling bees also quickly separate the birdies from the bugs.

As we all know as adults, all of us are birdies, or bugs, depending on our abilities. Ask me about guitars? I suppose I'm a birdie. Ask me about calculus? I'm probably a bug.

We all have our strengths and our not-so-strong points. During the school years (and especially these days), I'm not sure how much they emphasize that point. With our present state and national school philosophies (where virtually everyone has to pass proficiency tests by graduation), little allowance for individualism in learning seems to be permitted.

Fair? Not by a long shot, at least in my opinion. Whether we like it or not, there will always be birdies and bugs, lions and lambs, and of course, you and I.

The real question, it would seem, is how we approach the concept of fairness. Money, opportunity, who a person knows, and of course, the ability to apply knowledge gained will always make life seem less than fair to those who in some way fail to measure up.

I, for one, am of the opinion that this "perception of unfairness" is one of the roots of our problems in this world. If people think that they are not being treated fairly, a situation exists that should not be taken lightly.

Anywhere that economic, political, religious, or social imbalances exist in the world, it seems that violence and strife follow. To be sure, it's a haves and have-nots situation, but it really is more than that. No one wants to be seen as playing second fiddle, unless they are in the orchestra and are being paid to do so!

Respect and fairness are values that have been historically taught to youngsters around the world. At least, I hope so. Unfortunately and all too often, those same young people discover that life is just not fair, just as I did. And that can become a recipe for disaster.