1.)  If elected to the position of County Executive, what three or four goals would top the list of things that you’d hope to accomplish during your term in office?

Anyone elected should take a lesson from the NFL, NBA, or any other professional sports league. The goal of an administration should be that of any good referee: make sure the rules are applied evenly and never take over the game. The best official is the one you rarely see, and one that is always honest and fair.  Government, on any level is no different.

2.) What do you regard as the major challenges that must be met in order for the new system of county government to succeed?

The major challenge isn’t getting the system to work, it’s just in figuring out how the system is supposed to work. Check out the county website and you’ll see a long list of departments, boards and initiatives. Any candidate who suggests that they have a clear vision for the direction of the County Government isn’t being honest, because nothing in government is clear. There are overlapping fields of responsibility, job redundancies, hundreds of cracks to fall through, and thousands of loopholes to hide behind.

3.) How do you define good government?

The best government is minimally invasive, modernly efficient, and maximally effective. But, since the next time that is accomplished it will also be the first, how ‘bout we just start with something that is completely deficit neutral: financially, intelligently, and, given what we’ve been living with for the past couple of decades, especially morally and criminally.

I don’t think the law allows me to put into print all of the things I’ve been called in my lifetime. Dumbass, smartass, idiot, moron, racist, bigot, zealot, Nazi, communist, radical, and even xenophobe (yeah, I had to look that last one up too) are just the tip of the iceberg. When I was in grade school, the name-calling hurt.  Sticks and stones may break my bones, but playground rhymes did not adequately defend me from the hurtful comments of others. As I got older, the only thing that changed was the nature of the insults, not their frequency or intent.

I remember being really confused by the meteoric rise of all the new businesses that were suddenly coming out of the woodwork. With many of the commercial aspects of the internet still unexpolored, new businesses that utilized its seemingly limitless potential were making money hand over fist and rushing to increase their piece of the pie by tapping the latest gold rush to hit Wall Street, the I.P.O (Initial Public stock Offering). But despite the seemingly can’t-miss moneymaking opportunity, I decided to pass. I just couldn’t understand how a company that was made up entirely of three guys with a laptop could be estimated to be worth millions. But thousands, if not millions, of investors who did believe that financial success did not require a dime's worth of infrastructure flooded into the market, only to have the illusionary stability collapse and the “dot-com” bubble burst.

Strangely enough, I got a lot of positive feedback following the article naming my mother as the primary culprit for creating the conservative monster I am today. However, as this is the month to honor fathers, perhaps it’s time for the other shoe to fall. While my mom was, and still is, the primary parental authority in what made me the person I am today, I must also give tribute to the male influences in my life. Yes, you heard me right, “influences,” as in the plural.

Looking back, I may just owe Attorney General Eric Holder an apology. A year ago, I took considerable offense to him calling us a “nation of cowards”. In his speech, Holder pointed to the substantial number of racial inequalities and tensions that continue to haunt this nation.  In my article, I argued that the primary problem wasn’t with the color of a person’s skin, but with the thickness. It was my opinion that the minimal amount of real racism that remained in the country was far outweighed by a residual social guilt kept alive in an out-of-control world of political correctness and perceived insult.

My son comes to me all the time asking for help looking for something he lost, and my reply is usually the same: “How about you clean your room first. After that, if you still can’t find it, I’ll be glad to help.” Although it’s not the answer he’s looking for, it’s the solution he needs. After all, losing something rarely is the main problem; it’s usually a side effect of the real issue-- disorganization.

I find it curious that many of the people who argue for removing the Ten Commandments from courthouses and outlawing nativity scenes from in front of city halls are some of the same ones who use an appeal to my Christian faith when trying to persuade me to approve certain other progressive agendas. “What would Jesus do?” isn’t just a bumper sticker anymore, it seems to be the newest battle cry for liberals looking to sway Christian conservatives into gaining an appreciation of government-funded social programs.

Milton Friedman and John Maynard Keynes have got nothing on me. You can take your Supply-Side Economics and your Laffer Curve and toss them right out the window with every other principle you learned in college Economics. I don’t need a Ph.D. or an M.B.A. to know exactly what to do to solve the financial woes of this country. And I certainly don’t need an entire staff of tweed-wearing, pipe-smoking, Ivy League intellectuals to help me explain it to the American People.

I choose not to live in fear. It’s amazing how many people don’t even realize they have this choice. But, even more amazing is the number of people that opt out of that choice. Have you noticed how much the news is dominated by crisis after crisis? Every other headline seems to focus on the next big adult equivalent of a monster in the closet, or boogeyman under the bed.

I feel like I’m stalking Douglas Elmendorf. That’s the name of the number one author on my reading list. But, he doesn’t write mystery novels, cookbooks, or even comic books, and while I’ve never paid a dime for any of his publications, I log on almost every day in anticipation of his latest release. And no, despite being one of the most unassumingly influential people online, he’s not really a blogger. Douglas Elmendorf is the current Director of the Congressional Budget Office.

I had chicken pox when I was a kid; it got me out of the final week of school. I got mono in high school, have suffered food poisoning, and have had more than a few cases where the flu knocked me out for days. I’ve known family and friends who have suffered and died from some of the more deadly diseases, including AIDS. But despite even the recent calls for concern about H1N1, Bird Flu, Swine Flu, Mad Cow Disease, or even Killer Bees, I must admit that there is only one virus right now that scares me; and, while it’s been around for centuries, a potentially devastating strain seems to be building in at least one eastern US city.

I’m a little confused as to what the fuss is all about. Turn to one news channel and you’re likely to hear all about violent racists who hate immigrants, are against aid to the poor, and want to secede from the nation. Turn to another, and you’ll hear talk about a sweeping movement of patriots who are trying to restore honor and sanity to the system. Ask one person and they’re heroes, ask another, they’re villains. I guess tea is no longer just a drink with jam and bread (and yes, I realize I’m losing credibility by using a Sound of Music reference).

I don’t remember asking for a train, I don’t remember seeing anything about a train on the last ballot, and I certainly don’t recall hearing candidates give speeches on the issue of a passenger rail between Cleveland and Cincinnati. In fact, the last time I ever heard the topic come up in a conversation it sounded a little like this: “Man, it would be pretty cool if I could just hop a train to get to NY or Chicago”, to which I responded, “You can, but the train leaves at 2am, it’ll take you all day to get there, and it costs about as much as a plane ticket." End of discussion.

But now, all of a sudden, the State of Ohio has come up with this grand scheme to build a high speed rail line linking Cleveland, Columbus, Dayton and Cincinnati. Forget about the fact that “high speed” apparently begins with a top speed of 80mph and an average travelling speed of 40. Disregard the fact that the price of a ticket will be more than what it costs to drive. And let’s, for now, ignore the fact that the government doesn’t exactly have the best record when it comes to operating public transportation (How’s that community circulator working out for ya?). Let’s actually start with the question, "WHY?"

Here we go again. Another election, another ballot initiative on casino gambling. While I wasn’t alive during prohibition, this has to be what the final years of that experiment felt like. The whole country was drinking, everyone knew it, and the lawmakers finally had to admit that it’s next to impossible to legislate morality. Maybe if they had some other angle, or some sort of Al Gore-esque, feature-length documentary on the evils of alcohol, perhaps the 18th Amendment to the Constitution would have had a chance. Or, maybe not.

Dear Cleveland,

Despite my last article, I keep hearing things like: “Don’t you think that everyone should have equal access to quality healthcare?” “Don’t you think tort reform would bring down costs?” and “Don’t you think it should be illegal for insurance companies to drop your coverage?” As I said, I think I’m done talking about the healthcare issue. But, since I can’t seem to get away from the endless discussion, here’s exactly what I think (with apologies to Crash Davis)…

It’s like running in mud: the faster you try to move, the more you slip and slide, getting nowhere quick and getting plenty dirty. So, after weeks and even months of debate, here we are, still talking about healthcare, though judging by the clips making the news, there doesn’t seem to be much actual discussion going on. Too many people with too little information are talking at each other and not with each other. Attempting to debate the issues recently, I’ve been called many names, had my character, ethics and moral guidelines questioned, and I have even been challenged on the validity of my personal faith.

Though the temperature might not agree, fall is coming. The sun is setting earlier, and our disappointment in baseball is slowly fading into a sense of dread over the coming football season. What that means to most families is that either school has just started or will begin shortly. I can tell I’m getting older because, at this point, about the only thing I remember about going back to high school was the feeling of dread about finding my new locker, remembering the combination, and trying not to get lost learning my way to a whole new set of classrooms.

With all of the blockbusters that have come out this year, I think my favorite so far has been the newest addition to the Star Trek series. I was a big fan of the original show in syndication, and an even bigger fan of the later entries, including "Star Trek: The Next Generation". When I went to see the latest movie, it occurred to me what a politically diverse crowd was in the theatre. While I didn’t take time to interview each audience member, based on the conversations I overheard during the previews, I think it was safe to say that Republicans and Democrats, Liberals and Conservatives, all were sitting side by side in eager anticipation.

Here’s a question for you: Three frogs are sitting on a log; one decides to jump into the water. How many frogs remain on the log? The answer is: Three. The statement might suggest commitment, but it doesn’t confirm action. Likewise, with all the celebration regarding the Fourth of July, it occurred to me that the big event was actually July 5th. Our founding fathers spent quite a long time debating the proper course of action, putting pen to parchment to declare their intentions and then signing on the bottom line. But with that done, the real work started the very next day, as the time for talk was over, and the time for action had begun.

I have to admit, I’m frustrated to the point of becoming angry. When I turn on the news, I see politicians doing little but blaming each other, spending money faster than they can print it, and clinging to the idea that the bigger the budget, the stronger the stimulus. It’s getting to the point that I understand what happened to Jack Nicholson’s character in the movie “The Shining”. No matter what I intend to write about, I find myself coming back to repeating the same line over and over again…

You can’t spend your way out of debt. You can’t spend your way out of debt. You can’t spend your way out of debt… All work and no play make Johnny a dull boy.

Forget about financially troubled California for a while. Forget about Detroit and the auto industry. And take a step back from any talk of Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac. Let’s just focus on our own state for a minute. I’ve been talking until I’m blue in the face about a simple premise: You cannot spend your way out of debt. Yet, here we go again. Faced with a looming budget deficit, and despite campaign promises to the contrary, our representatives are once again flocking to federal funds and pork barrel spending to fill the gaps in their spending spree.

“Shall a levy renewing an existing levy be imposed by the city school district for the purpose of providing for the emergency requirements of the district in the sum of $1,850,000?”  This was part of the language that appeared on the ballots in Warrensville Heights back on May 5th.  An initiative that passed with over 60% approval. Similarly, the City of Parma had a decision on their ballot, yet the voters there said “NO!” by a resounding 2-1 margin. And I think I know why. Frankly, they probably came to the conclusion; why vote for a tax levy now, when the government just passed a huge tax levy, albeit without our individual vote, just a couple of weeks ago? 

Okay, I’ve now been writing this column for a couple of years, and since I preface most of what I write about with a little slice of my personal background, I’m sure that anyone who has read more than one or two articles already knows more about me than they are comfortable with. I know that not everyone understands my sense of humor, gets my sarcasm, or can stomach my brashness, but there’s a reason I am who I am. There’s a simple explanation as to how I became the person I am today, and it’s spelled… M-O-M.

When I was a kid, I got picked on repeatedly. I was the target of just about every bully in the neighborhood. By the time I got to high school I was a bit bigger than my classmates, so a lot of that trouble started to disappear. When I got to college I was a solid six foot four inches tall, two hundred fifteen pounds, and with the knowledge and confidence of being a wrestling coach I found it very easy to take a job working as concert security at the local arena.

But after working dozens of concerts, I noticed something strange, in all of those events; not once was I ever in a scuffle with anyone my size or bigger. It didn’t take long to figure out that there seemed to be two distinctly different yet similarly aggressive stereotypes out there. When I was little, I’d fallen victim to the bully who uses his size and strength to intimidate smaller and weaker kids. However, once I filled the role of bigger and stronger, my nemesis became those with a “Napoleon complex”, someone who tries to overcome feelings of inferiority with increased antagonism.

This dynamic came to mind when I saw the unfortunate choice of cover stories on Newsweek magazine during holy week. While millions of people celebrated Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday, Newsweek questioned the possible “Decline and Fall of Christian America”.

Citing the 2009 American Religious Identification Survey, the article points to a 10 percent decline in the number of self-identified Christians since 1990. Unfortunately for Newsweek, according to a Pew Research Center survey, another thing that seems to suffer the same decline is the readership of print and online newspapers and news magazines. The problem with this is that Newsweek never came close to matching Christianity’s popularity in the first place, so if both trends continue, I’d feel more secure in my faith than I would in having a job reporting its demise.

Aside from being an obvious ploy for readership, this is just another case of the little guy taking a swing at the bigger and stronger, hoping that they will somehow erase their own perceived inferiorities. What I think really burns their bylines is that even though Jesus hung on a cross more than two thousand years ago, more people today believe in the relevance of his teachings than the credibility of the media. It bugs them that a much larger portion of the population seeks truth from the Bible than from the pages of their magazines.

But if you watch or read any news lately, is it any mystery as to why that is?  While we’re still a ways away from declaring Christianity dead, ethics in Journalism seems to be a whole other matter. I don’t care who you are or what your political leanings, I dare you to sit down and make a list of the journalists or reporters that you trust. Then ask yourself whether you would rather lend your car to anyone on that list, or the priest, minister or pastor of a local church you don’t even attend. Yeah, I gotta go with the man of the cloth on that one.

Actually, the biggest hurdle in that task might just be making the list in the first place. When I googled “most trusted journalist” a New York Times article on Jon Stewart topped the list.  However, the most revealing part of that experiment was not seeing the words “Jon Stewart” and “Journalist” in the same sentence; it was that the search only revealed 350,000 hits, a mere pittance in search engine terms.  For example, google the term “asparagus ice cream” and you get 2,430,000 hits.

You just can’t settle on any one news source anymore. Finding the truth requires you to do your own research. When you hear a story on the news, if you want to find the truth, you have to trace it back as close as you can to the source. You must peel back the layers of opinionated reporting and weed through the half truths and manipulated statistics to have any hope of digging up any hint of reality. If you showed someone 30 minutes of MSNBC and 30 minutes of FoxNews you’d be hard pressed to convince that person that they were talking about the same country, let alone discussing the same issues.

Maybe, just maybe, if Newsweek spent half as much time investigating the benefits of a strong Christian society as they do looking for a reason to denounce it, they might find the correlation between a focus on a higher moral responsibility and such devastating side effects as trustworthiness, honesty and reliability.

Even though the belief in journalistic integrity only requires a minimal faith in humanity, it still can’t hold a candle to Christianity which requires a huge amount of faith in the divine. 

How old were you when you first figured out that someone was lying to you? Or at the very least, when did you begin to notice the difference between someone’s words and actions? You know, that moment when you finally say, “Hey, why doesn’t Dad get punished for swearing like I do?” Or similarly, how did you feel when an adult opted out of giving you a full-fledged explanation for the old standby, “because I said so”?

 “In things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards.” – Attorney General Eric Holder

As I have mentioned before, groups don’t fail nearly as often as an isolated individual. And a strong family at its broadest definition is the best defense against hardship and struggle. So, it’s time you got reconnected and reacquainted with your extended family. Every family has the “goof off”, everyone has at least one member who’s a pack rat, and there is always one person in the family who can hang a spoon from their nose at weddings (okay, maybe that’s just my family). The point is, it’s time to find out who you are and who your brothers and sisters might be.

Los Angeles, California: A man, recently unemployed and spiraling into debt, decides to take his own life after ending the life of his wife and five children rather than face the hardship and harsh reality of joblessness.

I don’t know if it was anything that the founding fathers actually intended to establish, but the United States is the most schizophrenic country in the world. And believe me, in the world we live in today, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Every four years we have the ability to completely change face, alter our collective personality and start over. Even if you hate George W. Bush with every fiber of your being, you’ve got to admit that it is very handy to be a planetary pit bull when the fight is on, then, with one simple vote, POOF! We’re as cuddly as a kitten.

When I was growing up, I loved to play games. When the weather was nice, we played stickball, football and basketball, and when it wasn’t we played every board game available. The game didn’t matter, it was more about the spirit of friendly competition that flowed through myself and my friends. 

It doesn’t matter if you believe in God. It doesn’t matter if you believe in a virgin birth. And it doesn’t even matter if you believe in a jolly fat man with a distinguished red suit. The true nature of Christmas is a gift for everyone. It can’t be earned, it can’t be bought, and it certainly can’t be legislated in or out of the human spirit. Put aside the annual discussion on whether or not cities should put up nativity scenes. Take a break from bickering over what songs are okay to sing in public schools. And, don’t bother to question the connotations of saying “Merry Christmas” as opposed to “Happy Holidays”. It’s just not worth the trouble.

Wow. It’s been so long since this whole election process started that I hardly know what to do with myself now that it’s over. Now that we no longer have to sort through tons of political junk mail, now that our phones have stopped being assaulted with automated messages, and now that the focus of the entire nation is no longer on our state, now what do we do? Well, just like after every other general election, we get back to taking care of ourselves, resigned in the knowledge that we’re not likely to see or hear from any of those politicians until the next election cycle...

With the election now only days away, I have only one request. Regardless of your voting history or your political leanings, I ask that you prepare yourself properly for this most important civic duty. With the current status of the economy and the fragile nature of world governments, now is not the time to leave your vote up to the same type of decision making process usually reserved for picking reading material in the checkout line at the grocery store. On many of the ballots, there are more than twenty choices (not counting uncontested candidates), all of which will, like it or not, affect your life and livelihood. And I feel inclined to point out that, unlike high school, you can take notes into the voting booth. In fact, I personally recommend a full-fledged cheat sheet...

No, I am not getting into the business of editorial review; I’m just testing out a theory. Before I get started, let me ask you something: How many of you are reading this simply because of the title? Be honest. Thank you. You just proved the point. When it comes to advertising, sex sells, but when you get into the business of news, the time honored tradition is…“If it bleeds, it leads.” And if you think you’re above it, ask yourself whether you would have continued reading if the title was “Not my best effort, but still worth a glimpse”? Yeah, I thought so...

So, how long did it take you to get that all-important, resume-saving experience? If you’re a recent graduate, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Did you ever sit through a job interview virtually begging the person to give you a chance to prove yourself? Yeah...me neither...

So, let me get this straight: two multi-millionaires are spending hundreds of thousands of dollars in advertising to try to convince us that they’re in touch with the middle class. Wonderful. Talk about a catch-22. If a candidate is wealthy, they are accused of having no sense of what middle class America is dealing with, but if a candidate isn’t wealthy, then the chances of them making it in national politics is virtually non-existent...

To Mr. Joseph Calabrese,

 

While I appreciate your openness in holding public hearings, I remain unimpressed with what I saw at the event held in Rocky River. Not because I’m opposed to rate increases, or because I insist on the continuation of any specific route or service; instead, my misgivings are due to the lack of trust in the leadership that was on display that Monday night...

Guys, do you remember the first time you tried to talk to a girl? I don’t know if it’s the same for girls, but I have a theory. Looking back, I believe that the odds of your words coming out exactly as you wanted them were directly proportional to your age and indirectly proportional to the cuteness of the target of your potential conversation. To put it simply, if you were young enough, and she had the kind of smile that knocked you loopy, even if all you wanted to say was, “Will you go out with me?” the only thing that came out of your mouth was a few unintelligible grunts...

Maybe it’s a good thing that the Olympic games are starting soon. Even if they are held on the other side of the world, I think it’s as good a time as any to remind this nation of the spectacular feats of strength, speed, and sport that can be accomplished when talent is combined with hard work and perseverance. But more than just being a welcome distraction for sports fans, I’m hoping that the entire nation takes note of these individual stories of trial and success...