The Lakewood Observer is proud to announce Annie Stahlhaber is available online in the Observation Deck in the new Wellness/Holistic Section to answer nutrition questions. Eating disorders affect too many young females. Recently there has been a rise in the media focus on Hollywood starlets who apparently suffer from anorexia.

An eating disorder can be characterized by undereating to the point of starvation which is anorexia, bingeing and purging which is labeled bulimia and overeating which leads to obesity. While there are specific characteristics in each disorder, all have extremely negative health consequences. Anorexic females are often over-achievers, bulimic females tend to be people pleasers and obese females can be both.

My senior research paper for my psychology degree was on Bulimia and Female Role Expectations. My partners and I surveyed several eating disorder clinics as we delved into research on the topic. For people who have never suffered from an eating disorder, it is bewildering that someone can literally starve himself or herself, or overeat to the point of obesity, or get caught in a cycle of bingeing and purging. To healthy individuals food is nourishment for the body and not much more. For the person trapped in the prison of an eating disorder food is symbolic of love, of control, of escape. Regardless of the eating disorder, at the core of it is self-loathing. It is not possible to truly love and accept yourself and harm yourself.

Unfortunately we live in a society that judges us by our outside. Overweight childre are taunted unmercifully. They are made to believe that they are not attractive or worthy. Often thin and socially beautiful girls are made to feel as if their worth is in their looks, and they will do whatever it takes to maintain their "ideal" weight. The images that young females are bombarded with are often harmful and confusing; idols who are too thin, artificially altered, dressing to provoke attention. It is no surprise that every time you turn on the TV some celebrity is in rehab for something. They are dying inside, but society still judges them by their outsides.

Eating disorders are multi-faceted diseases. They have multiple causes and their treatment is not easy or quick. Food is only the symptom. It is not about food, it is about love and acceptance. We learn at an early age that food can be a substitute for love. We are soothed with food, comforted with cookies, told to eat even when our bellies are full. We all get mixed messages as children about the value of food. Why do a few turn food into the enemy, into a disease? If there were a clear-cut answer, there might be a clear-cut cure. We are humans, nothing about us is that simple.

I can tell you this from my research and from my own self-imposed prison at the ages of 16 to 21, eating disorders are a sign that something is broken inside. When you look in the mirror and see fat, or see ugly, it is because inside you are screaming for self-worth, for acceptance, for love. It doesn’t matter where you lost them, or if you never had them, but it is imperative to find them or the eating disorder will never be cured. It is not possible, at any weight, to look into a mirror and like what you see if inside you feel worthless.

Female role expectations are different than they were 60 years ago. Some of these we can rejoice in and others I wish we could bury. With the women’s movement women were finally seen as equals, allowed to vote, allowed to choose a career or children, allowed to get out of the kitchen and have an identity other than wife or mom. These newfound freedoms carried a price. Women had to work harder in the workplace for less respect and less pay than men. Top that off with the new image of desirability -Twiggy at a very unhealthy weight - for women to emulate.

So how do we balance all of the expectations, to be scholarly and career-minded, yet smile and look "good"? How do we teach our daughters to balance media images with reality? For a start, don’t reward with food, comfort with food, or substitute food for love. Hug them and tell them you love them every day. Tell them they are beautiful. Teach them about positive female role models like Sandra Day O’Conner, Oprah and Nancy Pelosi.

Children will model what you do. If you look in the mirror and call yourself fat, your daughters will program that. Sit down and eat healthy meals with them to show that is really important. We cannot pass on what we do not possess. Be healthy because it is all we really have.

If you know a young girl with an eating disorder do not minimize it. Get her help or it is a life sentence. I have seen an 18-year old girl die of a heart attack because she starved herself. I have heard the story about my father’s cousin who had anorexia. She came home from work one day and sat down in a chair and her heart stopped. She was in her thirties and left three children. Other serious physical effects include damage to teeth, damage to the esophagus and stomach, ailments from lack of nutrition. Sufferers need help to recover from an eating disorder. Do not get angry with them; you wouldn’t be angry if they had cancer. No one really wants to live this way.

The city of Lakewood offers free counseling to youth through their Division of Youth Services (529-6870). They can also advise if more intensive counseling is needed.